The dog woke me up

I can't sleep b/c the dog woke me up, so here I am.

I was talking with my friend Joe today about some random things. When I was a young kid and I first heard about slavery, I was in shock. Then a couple of years later I learned about the Holocaust (2nd grade). Since I was an abnormal kid, I spent a lot of time learning about slavery and the Holocaust. I've realized later that I did (do) this because I somehow think that if I can understand the reasoning for it, however skewed, and its history, I won't be so dadgum frustrated by it. And that, by understanding its history and reasoning, I can beat the next time to the punch, stop it before it starts.
Then Joe makes the astute comment, "Why would you want to understand hate?"

I've known that I'm like this for a long time. I do not understand how people can hate. I'm not saying that I'm not a hater. But I am saying that I do not understand it and have come to realize that I will not fully understand it in this lifetime. And I really don't understand how people can do it under the banner of Christianity or Latter-day Saint beliefs.
I know that my feeble efforts are not going to change anything grandiose and that people who use vitriolic speech laced with fallacies of logic aren't going to listen to me anyway. But there's also this thing inside of me pushing me on. Often I feel like I'm body slammed into a brick wall. Hmmph.

To be honest, sometimes whatever that thing is that gets me so emotionally involved in trying to stop things that are full of hatred or injustice really annoys me.
I don't know if another 30 years of life is going to change much though.
. . . sigh . . .


**oh**
And lest anyone think that this is all about world politics and policies, the no-call offensive foul that Michael Jordan committed on Brian Russell in the '98 NBA finals game 6 frustrates me every time someone shows the clip.