tyyyyyyyyyyyyyypooooooooo

Click on the picture, then read the caption. I think they're all laughing at it, no?




Ahhhhhh...the Daily UniFarce.

Calvin's got it right (?)

Today's weather is so nice for a February day.
But still:

more fake things in Heaven

A while ago I wrote a post about fake things in Heaven, well, there are tons of other things that I want to really exist, like Calvin and Hobbes. The idea that Hobbes doesn't really exist sorta makes me sick to my stomach.
Man it's hard to decide which ones to post. But don't worry, I'm going to post even more later.

The most children I ever had, via sneezing

So, in a lot of places when you sneeze once people respond with the word "health" (but in their language, of course). There are places that follow the second sneeze not with another "health," but with "money" or "luck." If you sneeze a third time it can be followed with a "love" or "marriage," but on the fourth you'll get "death." However, there are those that instead of saying death, follow up the marriage after the third sneeze by counting children out in the subsequent sneezes. Hence the fourth sneeze is your first child, fifth sneeze=2 children, sixth sneeze=3 children, and so forth. The counting of children makes a bit more sense because what if you sneeze 6 times? Is that triple death?
So to recap:
1st sneeze=HEALTH
2nd sneeze=MONEY/LUCK
3rd sneeze=MARRIAGE/LOVE
4th sneeze=1st CHILD/DEATH
5th sneeze=2nd CHILD
6th sneeze=3rd CHILD

I tell you this because the most children I ever got to was 19. Yes, I sneezed 22 times in 5 minutes. After I finished one sneeze, my stupid nose prepared to load another one. I strained a muscle in my stomach.

As allergy season hovers over us and we begin to sneeze with wild abandon, I think we should start this trend among Americans. No more bless yous or Gesundheits--unless you're ready to follow up that German with a Geld, Ehe, das erste Kind, das zweite Kind, das dritte Kind, etc.

And for those of you who are eagerly wondering about the Portuguese: saúde, dinheiro, casamento, primeira criança, segunda criança, terceira criança, etc.

So many possibilities and a Spoonerism

Barack Obama wants me to go to dinner with him. That's the email that he sent me telling me so. All I've gotta do is donate some more money and maybe write something, I don't know. But Barack Obama sent me a dinner invitation and that makes me happy.

So the names we've got so far: Fidela, Sarah, Vivian, Delilah, Melanie, Charlotte and Ingrid. This is an intriguing list.
Opening Day in baseball is this Sunday--unless you count the quadrennial opening games that they have in Japan (Oakland and Boston this year). I love the beginning of baseball season. So many more possibilities. Any predictions on the World Series, baseball loving readers? Sister Megan Neeley wrote me that she's feeling that it's the Tribe's year. So hopeful...

So last week I was telling Emily a story about this woman, Doris Kearns Goodwin, who used to listen to the baseball games (which were all day games at the time) on the radio and keep score because her dad asked her to tell him all about the games when he got home from work. She didn't realize until later that her dad could've just read about them in the paper. He just wanted to share that time with her.
I was trying to explain this story to Emily and inform her about the day games, except for the fact that I switched the first letters of the two words. Gay dames. Yes, baseball used to only play gay dames.

A truism from Calvin

Can I get an AMEN??