jokes, terrible jokes

I've heard a lot of good jokes lately and wanna share:

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
For drizzle!

What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?
Blee-otch

Are you allowed to kiss a nun?
Yes--if you don't get in the habit.

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks?
A roamin' Catholic.

So the Democrats and Republicans decided to call a truce, and as a first move toward friendship the Democrats said they'd throw a party. The Republicans could bring their elephant and the Democrats could kiss it and then the Republicans could kiss the Democrats' ...

Did you hear about the border wars between Norway & Sweden?
The Norwegians were throwing dynamite at the Swedes,
and the Swedes were lighting it and throwing it back at the Norwegians!

Why are there bones on the moon?
Because the cow didn't make it.

What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like mad because she's got a grenade in her mouth.

Why are Democrats sexier than Republicans?
Have you ever heard of a nice piece of elephant?

What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

So Condaleezza Rice walks into President Bush's office to give him a run down of the world's security news for the day: "Finally, Sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Haiti." All of a sudden the President became extremely somber and asked, "Condie, oh my, have all of their families been notified?" Secretary Rice, obviously touched and taken aback by the President's emotions responded, "I'm not sure, Sir, but I imagine there are protocols in place for notification." The President sat in silence for another moment and then looked up at Secretary Rice and asked, "Condie how many is a Brazilian?"

Modigliani walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"