Cheesy Mormons, Bordering on Psycho Creepers

Years ago when the first Work and the Glory movie came out, my cousins and aunts were ALL ABOUT going. It was Thanksgiving and they totally planned this big girls day. I had read the books b/c I was young and impressionable and bored one summer long ago. After a while, I was positive that they sucked, but I had to know the ending. But I felt that I should be part of the family, so I went.

We got to the theater with time to spare, but the theater was already filled with eager women and about three men. I ended up in the front row, in a corner seat. The movie was as cheesy and overwrought as you’d expect, and I quietly chuckled throughout.

But then we got to the climax scene. Oh my gosh. So the love story is between Nathan and Lydia (I feel good that I had to double check their names). Nathan is an early convert and a poor farmer/laborer. Lydia is the only daughter of the wealthy store owner in Palmyra. Of course. Nathan and Lydia plan to get married. Nathan starts building their house, he’s got some of its frame up already. So her parents freak out of course, probably threatened to cut her off or something. Undoubtedly this is the end for the magical couple! Horror! Will Lydia defy her parents and return to the Mormon?

The scene switches to Nathan, who had promised Lydia a house and continues to build it because he is a farmer/laborer/man of his word. He arrives and sees a note nailed to one of the posts. He starts reading it and then you hear Lydia’s voice reading the note. You know how movies do that. The camera pans around slowly catching Nathan’s reaction. There that scripture from Ruth, “wherever thou goest I will go, thy people shall be my people,” etc. Then camera continues panning and you see Lydia standing there, which is unnerving enough, BUT SHE’S ACTUALLY READING THE LETTER OUT LOUD. NO VOICE-OVER. She’s there like some creeper chick. Like, wouldn’t Nathan have realized that the love of his life is reading the note right behind him?!?!

I did the only proper thing in that theater that was silent save for occasional sniffs and sobs: I BURST OUT LAUGHING. It was hysterical. Uproariously funny. Well, I’d done it. I got burning looks full of the damnation of the deepest corner of Hell. I mean, those women were ANGRY.

So here’s my question: On what planet could anyone think that what we’d just seen was normal and healthy? If I didn’t know from first-hand experience that Mormons can be silly and super cheesy, I would’ve been SURE that I was surrounded by women trained to be drones or something. But now that I come to think of it, the theater was probably filled with women that a few years later would be on either Team Jacob or Team Edward.