The lesson from the Mt. Dew

I have a friend who was raised in a rather sheltered home. She went to a private school until 9th grade, when she started public school so she could be involved in extra-curriculars and stuff. One time in 9th grade she was on a trip with one of the athletic teams, guys and girls, it was a running something or other team.
Anyway, the team was at a Pizza Hut and were ordering their drinks. Now, you've gotta understand that her family is really health nutty, herbally and stuff. They didn't really drink carbonated drinks, so caffeine was a non-starter. She looked down the list of possible drinks (she knew Pepsi and stuff: a no-go) then she saw this thing called Mountain Dew. She thought it sounded springy and pastoral, probably a fruit punch. So she got that.
Well, she got the drink, full of sugar and caffeine, and drank it like a normal person would. Except, she'd never really had caffeine. So by the end of the meal she was laughing giddy like a drunkard and everyone was like, "Uh, (girl) are you alright?" (Girl laughing uncontrollably), "Yeah!!!! I'm great!!!!!"
Then it happened. She fell backward in her chair and the only thing stopping her from crashing backwards onto the floor was her right toe stopped underneath the lip of the table. So there's (girl) teetering dangerously, unable to pull herself up because she's too loopy. A couple of friends helped her right herself.

So, friends, the moral of the story is: Don't drink or eat anything just because it has an innocuous, bucolic name. Always check the label.