two things for today

I was thinking today about a couple different topics. First about how my facebook wall has lit up the last couple of weeks with discussions and back and forth about a few links that I posted, the Elizabeth Smart one where she talked about the stupid things that are said in abstinence-only sex ed courses (which is the worst way to go about sex ed) and then one about how kids can't be immodest and we shouldn't lay the heavy of adult shame on kids b/c the adults haven't figured out self worth.
There've been a few negative comments, but mostly positive and there's been good dialog, which I wasn't expecting in the amount that's been had.

So I've been thinking about shame and how it works. Today I realized that shame is like guilt. I've mini-soapboxed on my blog before about the difference between Godly sorry and guilt. This is the equation that I came up with:

shame is to worth as guilt is to godly sorrow

oh! I wanna write it in the logic framework

shame : worth :: guilt : godly sorrow

Then I wrote this down:

• Guilt drags us down and proves to us that we suck, we're not worth love, that we deserve every bad thing in life b/c of what we've done, that there's no way back to God.

• Godly sorrow doesn't avoid the fact that maybe we made a mistake, but God's totally on our side, waiting to help us learn and wants desperately for us to feel his love.

• Shame is a man-made construct that keeps us within a certain boundary b/c we know we're bad humans and without it we'd stray. It's essentially like  original sin, which was a dumb idea from the first time someone mentioned that falsehood.

• Worth lets us know that we are good, that we can know what to do to take of ourselves, that when someone treats us poorly, it has nothing to do with us. It also lets us know that if we've treated someone poorly, we are not doomed, nor is the other person.

Divine worth will never change. Within the Mormon context we may temporarily not be worthy/able to participate in certain religious contexts, but our divine worth is a constant. It is an unchangeable fact no matter what we do or especially no matter what anyone does to us.



Also today I realized that these last 18 months I essentially started over in my faith. My world crumbled around me and I picked up pieces here and there. I've not picked up some and I've put back down others. My faith has been a more confusing thing to deal with. The only clear truth that I know is that I'm a daughter of Heavenly Parents. That's where my faith has been building back up. It's been going on for a while, but I didn't realize it until today. I have knowledge about the doctrine of my religion, I have faith in how the atonement heals a wounded soul. But I no longer push, I no longer force something or berate myself when I simply can't go to church. Things will eventually work out. I know this b/c I have Heavenly Parents that believe in what my divine worth will do for me.

So there are two of my realizations from today.